Coming soon to a cinema near you? The return of the bed bug

French movie-lovers are struggling with a plague of insect bites. Bed bug infestations are up 65% in the UK. Is anywhere safe?

Name: Bed bugs

Age: The first ancestors emerged 115m years ago, so older than beds.

Appearance: Coming to a cinema near you.

Where exactly? Paris.

Ah, Paris – the City of Lice! These aren’t lice, they are bed bugs – Cimex lectularius – and the movie houses of Paris are infested with them.

Cimex cinématique? Nice try, although the actual French for bed bug is punaise de lit.

And now they have evolved to feed on moviegoers instead of sleepers? They have certainly taken to it. Parisians have been showing off blotchy red bite marks on social media after visiting cinemas in the MK2 and UGC chains.

What are the multiplexes doing about it? MK2 has said that its theatres have been de-bugged and that “there is no more risk in our rooms than in any other public place in Paris”.

That’s a relief. Except that the risk is higher than you might imagine. Having all but disappeared from France in the 1950s, bed bugs have returned in a big way in recent years – it’s estimated that 11% of French households had an outbreak between 2017 and 2022.

What is France doing wrong? It’s not only France, to be fair. New York had its own outbreak in 2010, and the UK has just seen a 65% year-on-year increase in bed bug infestations.

Why is this happening? The sharp increase in foreign travel is probably responsible. Some blame the rise in Airbnb accommodation for the spread in Paris, and the banning of certain environmentally damaging pesticides – including DDT – has most likely played a part.

I’m all for living in harmony with nature, but how do we completely wipe out these disgusting bugs? It’s not that easy. A mating pair of bed bugs can produce thousands of eggs in a matter of weeks, burrowing deep into bedclothes and furniture, emerging at night to suck your blood.

You’re making me itch. Bed bugs are also resistant to most common insecticides and can live without feeding for nearly a year. Treatment is therefore time-consuming and expensive, costing France an estimated €230m annually.

Are there low-cost alternatives? We could try to encourage the return of the bed bug’s natural predator.

Which is? The cockroach.

Is that honestly the best you’ve got? Exposure of affected fabrics to high temperatures remains the most effective treatment …

So, burning down the cinemas? We’re not quite there yet.

Do say: “Can we watch with all the lights on?”

Don’t say: “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the second half of Oppenheimer keep you awake.”

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