The greatest Lemony Snicket quotes ever

To celebrate the dark, surreal world of Lemony Snicket, we compile A Series of Unfortunate Sayings - some of our favourite quotes from his work

Lemony Snicket (real name Daniel Handler) has always been an enigmatic character, and his wonderfully wacky and absurd writing shrouds his offbeat works with equal mystery. His witty insights and sombre musings make for the distinctive tone that so many know and love and his work appeals to children and adults alike.

While Snicket’s bizarre characters and twisted plots are certainly part of this appeal, it’s his intelligent writing and dark humour that make his stories so compelling. To celebrate the author, here are some of our favourite Lemony Snicket quotes.

Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble”. - The Austere Academy

People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.” - The Grim Grotto

It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right.” - The Blank Book

Do the scary thing first, and get scared later.” - When Did You See Her Last?

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.” - The Beatrice Letters

What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a white sheet. You can wash it, and wash it, and still never forget what has transpired - a word which here means ‘happened, and made everybody sad’.” - Horesradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.” - The Slippery Slope

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.” - The Slippery Slope

Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.” - The Blank Book

Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.” - The Austere Academy

One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.” - Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.” - Horesradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

Have we missed any of your favourite Lemony Snicket quotes? Send us your top quotes by email childrens.books@theguardian.com or on Twitter @GdnChildrensBks and we’ll add them to this blog!

Horseradish, via email

‘It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.’

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